6/27/07 Crème de la crème with Jacques Rimmier: Nationl League Comparaison! Jacques here, with another edition of Creme de la creme for the KWL and its’ fanatic followers. After the All-star break this left us all a bit bi-curious and in stitches thanks to the Fun Stars. With a whopping 12 games under everyone’s belts, comparisons are sure to follow. Team Captains are sizing themselves up against the others, but I have other thoughts on my European mind.  Let’s pit our National league squads up to the check cashers of the MLB. Sure there are differences in the two leagues for instance, you will never see Derek Jeter bust out the Pterodactyl psyche-out however Daryl is quick to use. These are the little things that make the KWL worth the price of admission! Here we go.

Indians: The KWL boys in maroons remind me of the squad from the city of Brotherly Love. Just like Indians, the Phillies are a team in a tough division where they seem to get over looked at times. Talent at spots, but some managerial choices put them in some tight situations. I thought Charlie Manuel had troubles with egos in the clubhouse but, as Captain of the Indians how do keep everyone happy with playing time? It works! Pat Burnell- Easy, has a identical body type as powerful Ryan Howard. Just a bit off in the age department though. Both will go yard on any pitching mistake. Also a small liability in the field just likes Howard. Jim Noel-Jamie Moyer comes to mind instantly. Battle tested and age perfected. Utilizes his nasty purpose pitches to make batters look silly. Both are crafty hurlers who focus on tossing strikes and allowing the defence to do their job. Jamey Detamore- Shane Victorino, like the Flyin’ Hawaiian, is known by a majority of fans but he does everything right with or with out the yellow stick. I must remind you of his speed on the bases also. Jason Jones- Rowand and Jason are all about the team and will sacrifice their bodies to make an out while in the field. Fans have seen Jason go head-to-head with the fences several times so far this season.

Hex Nuts: Going to the AL with this one, the loveable Devil Rays; a team that has the goods but end up on the short end of the stick on a regular basis. Like the Rays, the Heavies battle hard with the tough teams in a bloated division. Too bad they cannot beat the Indies like the Rays do against the Yankees. Next year is closely approaching and potential is very high on both fronts. Kevin Phillips- Young James Shields, a surprise pitcher who is very young and have a sun-tanning bright future ahead of them. He throws hot Latin heat that blazes most hitters. At the plate, he is the team’s Carl Crawford; the team’s best hitter and a “go getta”. It’s easy if KP does not bat, the Nuts are going to the bar to drown their sorrows. Nick Margelis - Has improved his pitching but not quite to the point where he is comparable to Scott Kazmir, but he’s a strong pillar that the crew can rely on and will give the game his all. S. Crummie- Equal to any Minor League prospect for the Rays. Sadly seems he is turning out to be one of those High School hitters that was intimidating in grade school, but can’t hit the curve in the Farm system. The organization knows that he makes great contact consistently so they are patient with his development.

Industrials: The team from the Bronx or in this case, West Michigan Ave. Yanks and the Indies are the teams that everyone loves to hate. This is mainly because they annually make the Playoffs and put up big numbers in a dominating way. However, with this cast of characters they are pretty hard to hate. Also, just like the Yanks, the most recognizable uniforms in the KWL. They have got Leggs, and Brady knows how to use ‘em!! Brian Meyers- Looks like Giambi when he was on the roids, but his numbers are more like A-Rod’s regular season stats. A perplexing out for any pitcher and will swing at most any ball like the Iron Sheff did last year when he was in pinstripes. When he gets the nod to toss, he is Mariano Riveria! The team puts him in and sits back and watches him do the nasty. He is the closest thing to a sure thing in this league. (To actually see him do the ‘nasty’ click this link: www.youtube.com/daCommishgoeswild). Josh Brady- Reminds me of Paul O’Neill of olden days; decent hitter who throws on a jersey for fun and makes ridiculous snags in the OF. Also, is quite happy to be on the team where getting hardware is pretty likely. J. Moe- Scott Proctor, a player that frequently flies under the radar, but is highly discussed when he erupts. Like Proctor, he more unpredictable than Michigan weather. ‘Dactyl Daryl- Posada, quickly jumps out at me. Jorge, Jorge, Jorge, Jorge! The actual Captain who pulls all the strings, but allows others to amass the street cred. Has a bit of Joe Torre in him too, but looks forward to literally have Torre in him if the situation presents itself! (editor: GROSS!?!)

Evil Monkeys: Kansas City and unfortunately we are not talking about the Dipping Grill. The Monkeys have recently become the lovable doormats in the NL. All things considered, it is difficult to win when wondering how many players are going to actually show up. The few that are consistent are just as George Brett was when he was with the Royals. Actually the Monkeys should see if they could pull George out of retirement. The fans would love to see him blow up again when the Commish finds pine-tar on his stick. Pat Kean- Is quite similar to the before mentioned Mr. Brett, but on the currently team he is like Alex Gordan or Mark Teahen. A young talent who has a long career ahead of him as long as he remains committed and healthy. Lugs a wicked bat with him into the bat’s box and is the surest handed player on the lawn also. Jose Tellado- Clearly the most popular player in the League according to fans. Sales from the purchasing are all being donated to a Jose’s Car Washing Institute for Toddlers. What a great guy! His skills are close to that of catcher, John Buck, slugger on a regular basis and his focused on the good of the team. The mighty Tellado may turn out to be the biggest name on the Free Agent market next year.

Lemons: Just like the Tigers of ’06, a competitive bridesmaid? I guess more like the Mets of last season in the regards; lose in the NLCS instead of the Series. They have wise management like the chimney, Leyland. The captain puts the best squad out there possible and doesn’t utter much more than positive reinforcement after that. As with the Tigers and the Lemons, likewise, no real bright personality; they simply show up and perform and they been doing that well. Bryan Jennings- Totes a bat that is there with Mags and the Iron Sheff. Produces hits for the team and steals runs from his opponents like Curtis Granderson. Has the motor comparable to be Grandy and won’t hesitate to make a play on any ball hit in his vicinity. Scott Weilenga- The Mayor! Sean Casey, a player’s player, one who shows up with a bat and good attitude, and awaits the outcome. Well liked around the league hence his first Fun Star appearance. The Mayor is hands down the Fun Star in the AL Central. Barber- Zoom Zoom, Joel Zumaya here with the same control issues. Everyone knows he has gas, but lacks the spark to light the strikeout blaze at times. He has the potential to be a highly respected Ace when all is said and done. Old Balz Raber- Obvious, the Gambler, Kenny Rogers. He is the elder statesman on the team who makes few mistakes and has signed a mind-blowing contract for the long term. The thing is, if his tank runs empty before the contract is fulfilled, I guess he can always go to the bullpen.