4/27/07 by Brian Meyers
Pitch-out: Brian "Tex" VanDenBrand
For this 3rd installment of the Pitch-out, we found Mr. VanDenbranden-pants Peering from behind the newest Rue 21 catalog. Brian VanDenBrandenWhatsit is your standard cookie cutter suburban white boy, with the flare of male 16 year old cheerleader. We were able to interrupt his rampant text messaging to answer a few questions for us.
Brian was raised in Grand Rapids Michigan where he attended and graduated from the Harvard of Michigan, known as Grand Valley University. After graduating, he moved to Kalamazoo Michigan to work as a certified O-Presser for the local Township zoning department (please don't shut down our wiffleball league kind sir). Brian is the team captain of the new American League team, The Flaming Nancies. Many players in the league have said they would not be surprise if he showed up to play in a dress (not a bad idea for team uniforms eh?). When Brian VanDenBrandenpanda is not O-pressing the peasants of Kalamazoo, you will find him Text Messaging, Riding trails on his mountain bike, Rock Climbing, or shopping at the Buckle (You just got Lucky).
	The KWL is much honored to have a great guy like Brian join this off-season. He probably has the best sense of humor in the entire league (at least we hope so!). Brian has set his teams goals at a very high mark; to beat the girl’s team. They will stop at no cost to reach this goal. Once the goal is attained, they can sip there Zima’s with pride, honor and dignity. You go boys!
Favorite Band(s)? Led Zep., Weezer, Sublime, O.A.R., Grateful Dead, Jimi Hendrix, Kool and the Gang, Rage Against The Machine, Melanie, Chili Peppers. Favorite Beverage? Delicious, delicious Zima. With a sour apple jolly rancher. (wow, are you a chick?!?!) Have you ever wet the bed? More then I’m willing to admit.  (Member #12547 of the Bed Wetter’s Anonymous) What MLB player would you like to challenge to wiffleball? Barry Bonds, because when he was trotting around the bases I could go cut his brake lines. Would you rather:  Attend the Ophra or Dr. Phil show? Oprah, because she would fall in love with my dashing good looks and I could be her boy toy.  Well, the same goes for Dr. Phil. So either, really. I just want to be loved. Are you Gay? I am Soooooo over this, B!tch!?! p.s. Brian we owe you a 6 pack of zima and some jolly ranchers.