5/18/08 Crème de la crème with Jacques Rimmier: Top 10! Jacques here with the first edition of Creme de la creme for 2008. Sit down deep in your seat, as this one is sure to knock your socks off! Please excuse the body odor! As the temperature rises and the college skanks at your local Meijer's lose their winter gear, everyone knows it is time to break out the plastic! With that said what would stir up this league of characters and 'cholos' more then a top 10 list that sure to offend someone?!?! Here's a little taste for all the die-hards. A basic and brisk collection with just four simple categories; Hitters, Jokers, Fielders and Pitchers. I hope this is what you wanted Juan!!!

Cracking Balls; Top 10 hitters. 1. Bryan Jennings, The Gentlemen. After seeing the metamorphoses that this sluggers has gone through this off season there is only one thing to say: BALCO!! The league is considering 'random' urine tests! 2. Brian Meyers, Industrials. The Golden Boy and Founder of KWL has recently stated that he only began the League in-order to impress his wife with his swinging prowess. Obviously it worked and he is still making pitchers rethink their tosses and will continue to do the same this up-coming season. 3. Mike Downs, Belly Itchers. Fire, the Wheel, and going yard are definitely a short list of things that Cavemen can do well! From the looks of it, his Atkins Diet has paid in full in the winter. Side note: Who loses weight during the winter?? 4. Matt Kirsch, Flyin' Wildies. Slim Shady is still going to be looking go the distance once again against the Lovely Ladies of the KWL.  Pitch for his head Katie!!!!! 5. Adam Bontrager, Belly Itchers. Relies on more then his dashing good looks while at the dish. Simple math (possibly new math!?!?) will tell ya, Wheels + Yellow stick = Hits. 6. Jamey Detamore, Indians 7. Scott Wielenga, The Gentlemen 8. Andy Ross, Flyin' Wildies 9. Adam Ross, Indians 10. Jim Moe, Industrials

Cracking Jokes; Top 10 chucklers. 1. Jose Tellado, Bumbles. If he isn't the most non-serious guy that you have meet then give him a beer and then we'll talk. I swear this guy solely just wanted to get out of the humble abode last year but, exactly how is that going to work when you bring the 'fam' to the park?? Look for an even more laid-back Jose this season especially after he isn't pitching well as the team's 'ace'!!! 2. Daryl Hutson, Industrials. The self-proclaimed Prince of Porn is looking to be a bit more comical this season. He is tired of locking horns with the Big Dog and has said that he is not going to argue with him at all but, kill him with kindness! Watch Daryl heal the world one inning at a time. 3. Joey Brainerd, Flyin' Wildies. Will this be the season where Joey falls down running to first?? I sure hope so! P.S. Thanks for the care basket Joey, but I don't use soap! 4. Scott Wielenga, The Gentlemen. Self-deprecation at an all time high! Quite possibly the biggest smart-ass in the KWL, but not everyone takes his chatter as a joke. His reply to them is a firm: "Suck It!" Well-played, my friend. 5. Don Kern, Industrials. The word, serious, is not in his book; I'm just a bit bi-curious how that will work out with the Commish come Play-off time. Btw, that is a damn sexy chin strap beard! Maybe ol' Jacques will give that a shot! 6. Mike Downs, Belly Itchers 7. Tim Leaym, Indians 8. Pat Burnell, Angry Beavers 9. Amber Markley, Sittin' Ducks 10. Nate Oulette, Belly Itchers

Pounding Wood; Top 10 hurlers. 1. Brian Meyers, Industrials. Really? Who wants to hear about this guy anymore? He has a pitching arsenal that is only growing by the week. Hopefully, someone will be able to burst his bubble this year. Jacques wants some love! 2. AJ Tate, Belly Itchers. In a close debate, the Commish pulled through, but this was a narrow one. Deciding factor was that while he can blaze the white orb by you, when he falls off target he can be a bit rocky! If he is able to shake the rust off and figure it out, Buyer Beware!!! 3. Brian Barber, The Gentlemen. He has the talent and knowledge to be at this spot, but will he make me look bad by not being able to unlock his lips (I hear you have a very sexy little friend these days!?!) and suit up every week? 4. Andy Ross, Flyin' Wildies. Or as I like to refer to him, my dirty little secret! His sinker is straight up dirty! *EDIT* I hear your going to be retiring!?!? Jacques' heart is broken! 5. Mike Downs, Belly Itchers. The only player I picked on all 4 of my Top 10 lists. Who ever said Mr.Rimmier does not love the stone age? His rock hard play has landed him 5th on the pitching list and using his riser can only make him rise in pitching ranks in the league. 6. Mike Raber, The Gentlemen 7. Matt Kirsch, Flyin' Wildies 8. Tony Pedrolini, The Gentlemen 9. Pat Kean, Industrials 10. Katie Meyers, Sittin' Ducks

Pounding Sand ; Top 10 playmakers. 1. Bryan Jennings, The Gentlemen. I would be tired of talking about him if he wasn't so cute! In the Field his jumps on the ball are so fast, he often has to replace the divots!  This cat could cover the outfield by himself! 2. Adam Bontrager, Belly Itchers. Great hands in the field which cannot be underplayed, he has that extra gear that will get him in position to make a play on a lot of balls. (Almost as many as Elton John!!) 3. Jamey Detamore, Indians. Broken record here!! Why do all the quick-handsome guys get all the love? Where are the ladies for Jacques?? 4. Scott Wielenga, The Gentlemen. Knee high stockings get me every time! A steller play maker that can only be better after his rediculous offseason training regiment. 5. Mike Downs, Belly Itchers. Always so coy with his hands in his pockets, but makes cocky one handed grabs just to taught his opponent. Can also make other one handed grabs with Jacques if he is ever interested! 6. Matt Kirsch, Flyin' Wildies 7. Katie Meyers, Sittin' Ducks 8. Mike Raber, The Gentlemen 9. Adam Ross, Indians 10. Pat Burnell, Angry Beavers