5/08/09 Worst of the worst! Week 1 Low-lights! Welcome back to everyone’s future favorite KWL column, “Worst of the Worst.”  This edition covers all of the horror that was week 1 in the 2009 season… bitches. This week features a new twist! I will be counting down to the #1 spot! Horray for you! #5 Lemons and Gentlemen. No they haven’t matched up yet (that’s next week) but both teams got swept this week.  One more loss and they tie for the Gentlemen of yore’s (08’) TOTAL losses.  I hope it’s just a fluke, because it could mean a clash of attitudes has wasted some the best hitting and pitching in the league. #4 The Wonders. Once again the girls got screwed and less than half of the team suited up this week.  No one else is jumping at the chance to play on the ladies team?  Either most men in the KWL are homosexual, or they are afraid that KT is going to show them up with the yellow bat. #3 No National League Post game. Every American League team went out for beer and yums on Monday and Tuesday night.  Are we not friends in the National League?  Early bedtime! #2 Screamin' Weasels. 4:30 PM Thursday, the Weasels team falls apart. 5:00pm honorary vice-commissioner Pats Burnell finds 2 players to resurrect the team. Alas, it’s too late for a matchup at Township that night… hopefully we'll see them next week.  Hopefully they will lose and learn their lesson… After looking at the schedule, a fate even worse will be forced upon them. (See #1) ED: At Flescher West even… I may get my chance! #1 Metalica. Sucks ass, no seriously they are the worst band ever recorded.  Those of you at Flescher on Thursday night know what I am talking about.  I don’t know if I can hit 9th street from West with a stereo, but I’m willing to give it a shot. Honorable mention: Alice in Chains blows too. If this column offends you, call your mom and cry! Also be sure to wish her a Happy Mothers Day!