12/21/09 Crème de la crème with Jacques Rimmier: Hot Cheeks Report! Bonjourno my sweet Kalamazoo wiffleball family, 2-time NWLA columnist of the year Jacques here. After sitting around watching this offseason unfold, I have descided to chime in with my own version of this years Hot Stove, something I like to call “rapport chaud de joues” (Translated: Hot Cheek’s Report).

For the Love of Jacques.  Although I have received many lucrative offers to join teams for the 2010 season (most notably that from Snowsuit quasi captain Matt Jennings), the League Committee continues to block my path back into the world of Wiffleball.  I have two words for you Mr. Meyers, SUCK IT! I also have two words for Mr. Jennings, LA MAIN JOB!

The Stinky Snake.  The rumors about former Wildebeest Matt Kirsch becoming an “Adult Entertainer” are in fact correct.  I am happy to announce the upcoming release of our joint collaboration; The Snake gets French Fied.

Nashty, Nashty boy.  There is only one thing sexier then Adam Nash dressed in a naughty little devil outfit, that would be the sweet things we did in the summer of 2008 in that multi-colored Astro Mini van.  I know we had our problems, but maybe the summer of 2010 could re-ignite our flame! Get fired up my new Diablo!

Marzs making moves.  I have not met Kevin in person yet, but our handfuls of emails have made this Sexy Frenchman twitterbated with excitement for the 2010 season.  The only thing that is disappointing is your refusal to rename your team to the Stripe’ Stache’. Despite this the Friars are easily poised to make a run for the American league crown and for my heart!

Bald is beautiful? Apparently the Industrials are trying for a monopoly on Bald Fat wiffleball players, now with a total of 4. Could George Costanza be rounding off their 2010 roster?

The fight for the Cure.  Many players and fans (including myself) have been broken hearted by the recent news of the Cure’s collapse.  I mean, who will play Metallica annoyingly loud at the games? Who will get Mr. Gilmore's Jacket back?   Even though you were unable to Cure the Itch, I don’t blame you for my crabs! (I believe I got those from Raber).