Can you Handle the Rainbow Road? KWL NWLA Preview PDF Print E-mail
Written by Brian Meyers   
Wednesday, 17 July 2013 15:22
Can You Handle The Rainbow Road? KWL NWLA Preview. by Brian Meyers 7/17/13
This coming weekend, nearly 100 dudes will go on what most of our peers and facebook acquaintances would consider, “The most ridiculous road trip ever!”  A trip that will lead to a bunch of grown men (and a few punk ass kids) playing a kids game 6+ hours away from our own backyards.  Yep, the National Wiffleball League Associations annual Tournament!

However, since every league writer and their brother have previewed the NWLA Tournament with predictions and opinions on the official games, I’m going to rock this preview KWL Style! So let’s forget about the Wiffleball games and focus on the secret underground Mario Car tournament!!
In order to make this column even worthy of the webpage it was typed on, I needed to get a one-on-one exclusive (not really exclusive, Carl is a media slut) interview with the man that proposed this very idea!  I topped off the tank of my Supercharged Pony with premium and accelerated quickly towards the east side of the state. 

After two of the most boring hours of my entire life, I started to question if this trip was even worth it.  The beautiful smog-less skies were now behind me, the strong smell of skank was in the air.
After dodging countless panhandling hobos and vegans riding their single speed bikes through the art district,  I knew I was near Detroit aka, WSEM headquarters!

Siri instructed me to “turn left and arrive at your destination” and it appeared I was at “The Field of Make-Believe, home of King Friday.   I needed to get this interview over quickly, I was already starting to itch, and I assumed this must be something to do with the east side of the mitten.

Brian Meyers: Thanks for taking the time to meet me with me on such short notice. Let’s get down the brass tacks! What’s up with this rumored Mario Car Tournament?

Carl Coffee: FIRST OFF, BRIAN, its MARIO KART!  Show some respect will you?

It was like I was just hit with a red turtle shell, you could cut the tension in the air! This interview was spiraling quickly and I was down to my last two hits!

CC: I’m packing my n64 and hauling it to Dublin.  We’ll be throwing together a tournament for anyone that wants to get in on the action!

BM: N64? Didn’t they stop making that thing in like 1999???

CC: N64 to me is the last "pure" video game console, before they got too flashy and ridiculous! Mario Kart is the game from the said console that optimizes how multiplayer games should be!

Carl didn’t look like a hipster, but I was starting to survey the premises for a vinyl record collection or a can of mustache wax.

Carl passed me a folder, inside was the tournament brackets of the upcoming Mario Kart Tournament. It was obvious that he spent nearly as much time on this as Galloway has on the NWLA tournament.

BM: Carl, do you think the Harley brothers will be as ridiculously good at Mario Kart as they are wiffleball?

CC: They have to be human at something! They are going down!

BM: What about the guys coming from the HRL?

CC: What about them? This isn’t Atari! We are not playing Frogger!

It was obvious; Carl was making a dig at their collective team age.  But considering the games release date of 12-14-96, he’s no spring chicken either!

I decided to get down the root of this interview.

BM: Who is going to win this Mario Kart Tournament?

CC: I WILL BE winning the NWLA Mario KART tournament! He said with a shifty wink.

The hour was late and it was time for me to get rolling back to the ‘Zoo.   Before leaving, I distracted Carl just long enough to snap a picture of the bracket with my iPhone.  Enjoy!

Last Updated on Thursday, 01 August 2013 00:20
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