Alternate Team Names PDF Print E-mail
Written by Jacques Rimmier   
Tuesday, 06 April 2010 05:00
Crème de la crème with Jacques Rimmier: Alternate Team Names.

Live from back of a Grey Hound Bus, 2-time NWLA Columnist of the Year, Jacques here!  For many of you loyalist, I feel I must explain my whereabouts. After Commissioner Meyers once again rejected my appeal to the league, I decided a change of latitude was in order.  After two weeks of hitch hiking and many sessions of

“paying my way”, I ended up in a beautiful city I called home this offseason; Chattanooga Tennessee. My original intentions were to try and make it down to Hotlanta with hopes of joining the WiffleATL group, however I had run out of money and could not bare another mile as a riding bunk mate of Rode-Way truck driver.  So ‘nooga was my new home.

I quickly established myself in this lovely little town and was able to acquire a job at a local hotspot, the Inclined Train.  As the conductor of the Inclined Train, I earned a living while maintaining a place to stay, although management did not know of my new pad, they were constantly impressed by my promptness to work in the morning, until recently when I tied one on a little too tight and my boss found me passed out in my puke on the back of the train.

I would like to give a special thanks to Matt Kirsch for the care package full of Midland Loons apparel and a one way bus ticket back to Kalamazoo.  Much appreciated my friend.

With that out of the way, I figured I would resume the position of KWL’s best and most handsome columnist.  So with much flair and a little glitter, I bring to you the latest edition of Crème de la Crème; Alternate Team Names.

Snowsuit & the Icey Road ----> The Magicians.
Who did Lukas and Matt blow to pull of a #6 national ranking in the first week?  It must be some good lip service to pull that off, considering you finished last season ranked 18th after the Industrials ran the train on you guys in the playoffs.  So I figure a perfect alternate name for Snowsuit would be the Magicians, because now you see them in the rankings, and next thing you know, you won’t!

Monday Night 40s ----> Monday night Fratboys.
Last season when I heard of the newest KWL team, the Monday Night 40s, I was very excited to meat these guys.  As someone that has been living on and off the streets for 16 years, 40 oz’ers are a part of the culture.  No matter how bad your day may be, you can always find a bag full of cans to trade in for a cold forty of Mickey’s Ice.  However, my excitement was quickly dissolved to discover a bunch of lite beer drinking frat boys. You shame the malt liquor fanatic community aka the homeless. 

Industrials ----> Peacocks.
It was very nice to finally see someone setup and pen an anti-Industrials article; kudos to Amber Hutson for saying what most of us truly feel.  The first set of jerseys were cute, the matching hats are a little metro, but the 50 foot billboard on 131 near the Stadium Dr exit is extremely flamboyant.  It’s hard to say if you are full of yourselves or full of each other!  Look at me, look at me!

Lemons ----> Revolving Door.
Even Jacques turned down an offer to play for the lemons, so it’s no surprise to see a roster smaller then the Sittin’ Ducks on the Lemons team page. How come the self proclaimed “best wiffler” can’t keep a team together?  Raber is quickly developing a reputation for having faster turn around then your local Big Boy Wait staff.  So it’s not a surprise, the Revolving Door would be a great alternate team name for the Lemons.

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